Rants about music I like for various reasons. Maybe even just one reason. Or maybe I just think the song should be getting more recognition than it has been. Either way, I wanna talk about it, so here we are. Also, "perfection ratings" are, of course, the most subjective thing ever, as they are literally just based on how "perfect" the song feels to me and perfection can look like a lot of different things. Always open for suggestions and conversations but please be respectful :D Hope you enjoy!

Satan in the Wait by Daughters

Today's gonna feel like tomorrow, someday

Tomorrow's gonna feel like yesterday

(This world is opening up)

Today's gonna feel like tomorrow, someday

Mother, My Body Disgusts Me by Swans

I originally had this song saved in Franny's playlist because it aligns with his backstory and its resulting emotions. It was too perfect to ignore - I mean, a song called Mother, My Body Disgusts Me that begins with the line, "Mother, don't come near me" and explores the realisation that you don't hate yourself but instead resent the person who made you this way, all in such a vague way, while utilising the freedom of that realisation to be a vengeful, filthy pervert? Beautiful. And there is no end, no comfort... just darkness, contempt, and disgust.

The repetition is what really calms me about this song, second to the lyrics. Every strum of the guitar reminds you that the pain you're hearing now is what has already been and always will be embedded in your body, no matter where you are in life now. The shame of it steadily creeps forward with time and only fades away when you're temporarily well enough to ignore it, and then it hits you again with that dreadful noise of the guitar. It feels like it's welcoming me to express my own hatred along with it.

Of course "Mother" could refer to many things. But as someone who has a bit of problems regarding their literal mother, it hits me just right. It is the perfect expression of pain and self-disgust. Battling with the idea of needing and craving the exact thing that hurt you, and hating yourself for that.

Definitely a Franny song. But it is a Me song, too.

Sick and Disgusting by Beartooth

One of the best decisions I ever made in my life was googling "songs where vocalist cries real". It led me to Glassjaw, Foxing, Christian Death... and this song! It is rare to hear a vocalist refer to a "daddy" or "mommy" in their music, especially in a non-sexual way, but when it happens, it is amazing!!! Those wail-y, guttural sobs and the sound of the singer sucking saliva through his teeth, plus that one, "Daddy, I don't wanna be sick and disgusting!" I just can't get enough of that.

I also really like that it shows how people view their father figures (e.g. teachers, grandparents, literal fathers, etc.) as a sort of god. That's why it hurts so much to feel that you've disappointed your father figure, and makes you feel disgusting and unworthy. And when a father figure was never there, it's natural to want someone to idolise.

Grind by Alice in Chains

This song I enjoy for the way it sounds like they are making the guitar throw up. It is a disgusting song with breaks of tired, hopeless pleas that go unheard by anybody, like you're struggling to sleep in a silent house.

Perverted by Elita

"Cross your fingers cause you might be my type."

I really like the sarcasm in this line, intentional or not. You've caught the attention of a sadist!! Which means you are gonna be taunted, teased and used all as a form of love, you pitiful thing.

I hope I should be so lucky...